In common language, the phrase afraid of one’s own shadow means being unnecessarily timid. Yet, Carl Jung had a different view—he believed our “shadow” represents the unacknowledged or rejected aspects of ourselves. Everyone has such a shadow and its size and shape depend on how honestly and intensely we look at ourselves. For some people, facing this shadow is more frightening than facing life-threatening danger. Many combat veterans, for example, are more disturbed by how they reacted in critical moments than by the actual injuries they sustained. Realizing we’re not the person we thought we were can be deeply unsettling.

Fear of this inner darkness can lead to unhealthy behaviors. Perfectionism may be a disguise for denying the shadow. Constant anxiety can arise from the worry that others will see it. And depression may develop from either self-loathing toward it or hopelessness about its persistence.

Addressing this fear in therapy is similar to helping a child afraid of the dark. Comfort and reassurance (or “validation”) may offer temporary relief, but often the fear simply shifts, patients stop fearing the judgment of the outside world and begin fearing the disapproval of their therapist. When therapists deny the existence of any inner “monsters” patients may feel even less able to admit their flaws or inner conflicts.

In some cases, shedding light can help, much like showing a child that a coat on a hook is not a vampire. But lasting change typically requires exposure: spending time in the darkness until it no longer feels threatening. In therapy, this might mean exploring uncomfortable emotions such as aggression, sexuality, or fear of mortality, with the therapist maintaining calm curiosity.

The therapist’s role is not to insist the patient is entirely safe, but to approach the “dark” parts of the psyche with steadiness, without avoidance. Just as a child feels reassured when a parent confidently looks under the bed, a patient gains trust when a therapist can look directly into their psychological depths. Pretending the darkness isn’t there can provide short-term comfort, but in the long run, it deepens the fear.