I used to think of phobias as dramatic, life-stopping fears, the kind that keep a germaphobe wrapped in layers of protection or make someone avoid flying entirely, even if it means missing a family wedding. I knew agoraphobes who simply refused to leave home. To me, phobias were intense and all-consuming, powerful enough to make people give up life\u2019s pleasures rather than face their fears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At least, that\u2019s what I believed\u2014until I discovered I had one myself, though a small one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many of us might carry a \u201clittle phobia\u201d or two\u2014so small they\u2019re easy to hide, even from ourselves. They may seem harmless, but I suspect they often have deeper roots than we realize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mine revealed itself back in college. I noticed I could never leave my bed unmade, unlike my roommate who thought nothing of it. I wasn\u2019t a neat freak in every way\u2014clothes could pile up, papers could scatter, but the bed had to be made. I didn\u2019t know why, and it didn\u2019t seem important enough to question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Years later, I realized it wasn\u2019t just a preference. If I even thought<\/em> of leaving the bed unmade, a wave of dread would hit me, a sick, uneasy feeling I couldn\u2019t tolerate. So I always made the bed, no matter where I lived or with whom. Even after marrying, I kept that task for myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It seemed like a harmless quirk, possibly even a positive one. Who doesn\u2019t enjoy a tidy room? I never connected it to anything deeper, not until a major life change approaching retirement prompted me to begin psychoanalysis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Therapy uncovered long-buried experiences: my father\u2019s death when I was just two years old, his slow decline in the bed that eventually remained unmade, and the silence that followed in my home. As a child, I couldn\u2019t name my fear or grief, but it lodged itself deep in me and as I came to see, in the image of an unmade bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Through therapy, I revisited those emotions and processed them fully. The fear faded, leaving only the habit. Now, I can leave the bed unmade without that sickening feeling, though I still usually make it, simply out of routine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My small phobia never seriously interfered with my life, but it taught me something: even the most \u201ctrivial\u201d fears can carry echoes of profound early experiences. They may point to unresolved emotions waiting to be acknowledged. Following that thread, however small, can lead to a surprising sense of freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The night I finished writing this, I didn\u2019t make the bed and at bedtime, I simply pulled up the covers and went to sleep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I used to think of phobias as dramatic, life-stopping fears, the kind that keep a germaphobe wrapped in layers of protection or make someone avoid flying entirely, even if it means missing a family wedding. I knew agoraphobes who simply refused to leave home. To me, phobias were intense and all-consuming, powerful enough to make […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":55738,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[181],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-55737","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55737","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=55737"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55737\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":55742,"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/55737\/revisions\/55742"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/55738"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=55737"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=55737"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psychologydictionary.ae\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=55737"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}