Emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ in parallel with IQ, has become deeply rooted in both everyday language and psychological discourse. It’s common to hear someone described as having « low EQ » after making an insensitive comment, whether meant seriously or in jest. But this raises an important question: how do we accurately assess emotional intelligence?

Despite widespread interest in the topic, emotional intelligence remains somewhat difficult to define and even harder to measure. The lack of clarity surrounding its components has made it challenging to evaluate in a reliable way.

A New Perspective on Emotional Intelligence

In a recent study, Dr. Hillary Elfenbein from Washington University (2025) defines emotional intelligence broadly as « effectiveness in dealing with emotion. » While the definition appears straightforward, the concept actually encompasses six distinct abilities: accurately recognizing others’ emotions, using emotions to enhance thinking, understanding emotional meanings, regulating one’s own and others’ emotions, and paying attention to emotional expressions.

Though Elfenbein focused primarily on how EI can be measured for job recruitment, her framework also provides useful insights for understanding emotional intelligence in everyday life. By examining the strengths and limitations of different measurement methods, we can better assess emotional skills in ourselves and others.

Three Main Approaches to Measuring EI

There are three primary strategies researchers use to assess emotional intelligence:

1. Self-Report Questionnaires

These tools ask individuals to evaluate their own emotional skills and traits. While widely used, self-reports are limited by people’s self-awareness, or lack thereof. Individuals with lower emotional intelligence may be unaware of their weaknesses or may exaggerate their strengths, especially in high-stakes situations like job applications. This makes such tools vulnerable to bias and inaccuracy.

2. Ability-Based Testing

This method involves testing individuals on specific emotional tasks. For example, they might be asked to identify emotions in others’ facial expressions, interpret emotions in artwork, analyze emotionally charged scenarios, or use the “Reading the Mind in the Eyes” test. While this approach seeks objectivity, it faces challenges such as cultural differences and subjective interpretation—what looks like sadness to one person might be seen as calm or contentment by another.

3. Observer Ratings

Arguably the most familiar method in real life, this approach relies on third-party assessments. People observe someone’s behavior over time and evaluate their emotional competence. Research suggests this method has moderate agreement with both self-report and ability tests and may offer more valid insight. However, personal bias can distort results, especially if the evaluator has a positive or negative impression of the person.

Can We Trust EI Assessments?

Rather than dismissing all these methods, Elfenbein recommends using a combination, tailored to the purpose of assessment. If you’re evaluating a candidate for a leadership role, a more structured and objective method might be appropriate. But if you’re assessing a new friend or partner, informal observations could be more practical, especially how they behave in different social situations and how others respond to them.

In conclusion, emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in both professional and personal relationships. Understanding the tools available to assess it and their respective limitations can help you make more informed decisions and build more emotionally fulfilling connections.